And blah.

Jan. 3rd, 2014 11:20 pm
beckerbuns: (icon_beckyrainbow)
Misty was up throwing up throughout the night last night but was pretty much better by bedtime, thank goodness.  She bounced back way faster than I did.  And as for me I've got some unpleasant gas and a little dizziness but am basically better.  Yay.

Ricky had his DEXA scan today.  He has this once a year because of his CF causing mineral deficiencies (which hopefully he makes up for by drinking close to a gallon of milk a day) and because he takes Heparin, Prednisone, and anti-convulsants on a regular basis.  After that we had Panda Express.  While we were doing all of this Misty was recovering at my mom's.

That's basically it for today.  The weekend is... Freeeeeee so far.  I can't remember the last time I've been able to say that.  Sadly, the most exciting thing I can think of to do is sleep.  *sigh*

ETA:videos of Ricky's DEXA scans present (first) and past (second -- 2008) )


Jan. 2nd, 2014 11:54 pm
beckerbuns: (icon_mistybeach2009)

Misty has the stomach crud now. With me it was more um. Diarrhea. She has been throwing up. Five times tonight already. Poor poppet. I hate seeing her so miserable. I hope this doesn't get as bad with her as it did with me. I didn't pee for 24 hours.

Tomorrow Ricky has his DXA scan (checks for bone density). Not much else on the agenda. His cough is getting worse. I hope it doesn't require any extra medical intervention.

I'm alive!

Jun. 23rd, 2011 10:40 pm
beckerbuns: (icon_getintomyownpants)
Thanks for the nudges. I really am alive. As some of you know, we did score a great house and moved in, in the middle of May. It's a charming little 98 year old farmhouse in the Rosegarden area of San Jose. It's actually not TOO little... Four bedrooms and two baths, with a 10,500 sq ft lot. It's HUGE. And I finally have my own garden. Like, an in-the-ground garden, not in containers.

Our garden 2011

There are lots more pictures of the house here. It's an old house and as such we have been dealing with lots of old house issues... Windows that won't open or are otherwise defective, a garage that needs work (and therefore we have EVERYTHING in the house... it's still quite cluttered and maddening, especially to Liz), no air conditioning (I'm the fan queen), funny construction (the house seems to slant downhill in places, for instance). But overall... We love it. We have christened it "The Farmhouse in the Garden" (or FiG). :)

(And if any of you would like my new address, please let me know.)

Things with the kids are going okay. We've had to shuffle around school placements. We are now in San Jose Unified School District, the biggest one in the area but not without its faults and frustrations. At this point it looks like Andrew will be allowed to keep his county program placement. Ricky will be going to the same high school as Liz's son Kevin, which is down in south San Jose by their old house. There's a life skills program there that's a lot like the one he was going to transition into in the old district. Both boys are going to be in summer school. Well, Ricky is right now; Andrew starts on July 5 (my birthday). Andrew's county program is the same one Ricky was in for 2-1/2 years so ultimately Andrew will graduate from the same middle school Ricky did. :) Misty is going to be starting kindergarten in the fall (!) and turns 5 next month. She will be going to the neighborhood school. And she is EXCITED.

In June I have had plenty of hours but that will be changing because the library's hours are changing drastically starting next week and all branches will be on a four day schedule. I am not sure how this will ultimately affect me; we shall see.

Oh, the new house is a block and a half from the Y. So we have renewed our membership and have been walking over to swim a lot lately. In fact tomorrow I am going back there with the kids (mine and Kevin).

And now... The knee saga. Sigh. I'm on state funded insurance. I injured my knee in December. My doctor refused to do anything until March, saying it could heal.  Then I had a negative x-ray and she referred me for an MRI which I finally got 3 months later (because the wait was that long). Then she waited 3 more weeks even to give me my results and I had to hound staff and dial random extensions to get an appt. Turns out I have a torn medial meniscus, torn MCL, and patellofemeral syndrome, which has caused knee instability and made me fall down the stairs in the new house twice, injuring my other knee similarly. It has now been 6 months since my original injury and I am looking at a wait of at least 3 months to see a surgeon. And then? Who knows.

So that's it for now... I will again promise to be a more regular correspondent. I spent a lot of today catching up on other people's LJs. I hope you haven't all given up on me!
beckerbuns: (icon_haninhanukkah)
I'm participating in a study that involves mothers of children with volatile behaviors journaling on a regular basis. Here is my entry from last week. I needed to write about a relationship. I chose to write about my relationship with Ricky.

My relationship with my son, Ricky, is complicated. He is not a touchy-feely type of kid, but when he is happy to see me he will lean on me and love on me and I know that he loves me. He is often standoffish in social situations, because he doesn't know how he should be acting. But when he leans on me and loves on me, I know he's either not feeling well, or showing me that he loves me.

Recently, a new dynamic has come into play -- Ricky becoming a teenager. I get a bit of attitude from him now. He is hostile and even aggressive toward his brother. I know that, even though he's a wiry, skinny kid, I can probably not restrain him now if he gets to be out of control. And I am on my own, a single mom, so if that happens, it's all on me.

Nowadays he frequently moans and groans at me about his breathing treatments. When he is angry and volatile, sometimes he refuses his meds. That really scares me too. I try to be patient with him but sometimes it's hard to remember that he's different from most kids -- that he doesn't always understand. Most of all, when he's in the middle of a rage or is being unreasonable, it's not under his control. He can't understand reason. When I try to reason with him at one of these times, it's like talking to a brick wall. I have to wait until he has calmed down and only then can we go over what happened and try to figure out a solution.

In the end, and at the end of the day, Ricky is my oldest. My first baby. My initiation into parenthood. And what an initiation it was... A premature baby with multiple health, and later, developmental issues. But from the moment I first held him, when he was a couple of weeks old, I knew I was his mama. My relationship with him has not always been solid or easy, but I am always his mom. I think he knows that, even when he's having a rage. I don't know what I'd do without him. I know I'm going to be facing that eventuality because of his cystic fibrosis... He won't always be around. But for now, I am going to enjoy the relationship I have with this amazing kid.
beckerbuns: (Default)
I really owe everyone an update. I am also going to try my hand at publishing public journal entries. I am not going to do it all the time, but I like for people who are not on LJ to be able to read what is going on with me in more than 200 characters. :)

By way of an explanation... I have become involved in a program through an autism research organization, where I write journal entries based on prompts they provide. It is to see if journaling can help moms of kids on the spectrum with dealing with all of that stuff. My LJ is not part of that, but it occurred to me that if I started journaling more (again... I LJ'd every day for several years and fell off the wagon after I got immersed in Facebook), I might be better able to deal with my daily stressors. We'll see.

So, what's been going on? )

Guess that is it for now. Hope everyone is doing well and you'll be seeing more posts from me! :)
beckerbuns: (icon_familyiseverything)
Today is the 9th anniversary of my dad's death. It is also Don't Fry Day, which always happens on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend.

My dad died of metastatic melanoma. It started in 1991 with one of many cancerous spots he had removed by his dermatologist. This was the first malignant melanoma spot. It was near his temple.

It cropped up again in 1999 in his vertebra, although it took a while to figure out what was wrong. The melanoma at this point was already stage IV and progressed quickly to his liver, one kidney, and brain. He underwent spinal fusion and numerous chemotherapy and radiation treatments, largely for comfort because there would be no cure.

He also had non-small cell lung cancer (unusual to have two types of cancer at the same time) but ultimately died from the melanoma invading his digestive tract. We knew he didn't have long, but it still came WAY too quickly. We didn't feel like we had time to say goodbye. His virtual memorial is here. He was a father, son, uncle, and my mom's soulmate.

Yes, today (for another 20 minutes or so, anyway) is Don't Fry Day, but it is important EVERY day of the year to remember to use sunscreen.

Don't look like this:

Andrew's sunburn (back)
Andrew, age 10

My dad adored his grandsons. I wish he had lived long enough to meet Misty. He would adore her as well.

Andrew with his Pop 11-21-98
My dad with Andrew (8 months old) in 1997

Ricky and Pop Dec 1996
My dad with Ricky (12 months old) in 1996

beckerbuns: (cf-lungs)
I'm a doof and haven't mentioned this yet... Durr.

But I'm walking in the Great Strides walk to cure cystic fibrosis this Sunday. Our team is modest... Probably just me and the kids (though I'm trying to convince Dave) but we're doing our part! I've raised $75 so far. If anyone is interested in helping out, the page to donate is here.

I am also doing the Cystic Fibrosis Research, Inc. Mother's Day Tea. This consists of a tea bag, picture of Ricky, and "invitation" being sent to solicit donations. No one is obligated to donate, but if you'd like to get an invitation, please leave your name and snail mail address in the comments of this post. I am screening comments. Or, if you'd prefer, you can email me (email address in my profile).

Thank you all for your consideration. :)


beckerbuns: (Default)
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